Hurry Up and Wait

Earlier this week, I was at home getting ready to pick up my two older boys from their day camp. I had my toddler with me and I was quickly trying to get him ready to leave (sigh.) As I’m getting ready to head out the door, I go back to the kitchen to get my keys from their usual place. They…aren’t….there. Memories come flooding back reminding me that my dear husband had them last (insert smile or eye roll, take your pick.) I call him, at work, to ask where he might’ve left my keys so I can get them. He tells me they are in his book bag…under his desk…at work.

My mind nervously starts racing (because now I’m frantic) about how I’ll pickup my boys then I remember my cousin has her girls at the same day camp. I quickly call her to explain and thankfully, she’s able to pick up my boys along with her girls. WHEW! Disaster averted. I tell my toddler, to take off his shoes and go back to playing because mommy is making dinner. Exhausting, right?

Sometimes we go through these moments where we race to quickly achieve the routine things we do every day and forget how in an instant, our momentum comes to a screeching halt because of something so small yet so critical as car keys. It’s called “hurry up and wait.”

A few months ago, I had gotten an ultrasound of my thyroid that resulted in me needing to have a biopsy done. I had a nodule in my thyroid that had grown from the previous ultrasound I’d had 3 years prior. The endocrinologist didn’t come right out and tell me and in the moment I hadn’t thought about it, but it was to check it for cancer. The thought of saying it out loud terrified me.

I didn’t schedule the ultrasound until I returned from visiting my parents in the Dominican Republic, which was about a month later. Yep, the thoughts were with me the whole time. On the day of the ultrasound, I wore one of my favorite t-shirt. The one with Wonder Woman on it. But I didn’t feel wondrous at all. I was terrified of the process because I absolutely abhor needles but more so because of what the results could potentially be.

The endocrine surgeon took note of my t-shirt, complimented me and explained to me the process and how easy it would be because of the position of the nodule. During the procedure I thought about all the things we rush through,take for granted and impatiently hurry up for in this life. And life has such a way of telling us to “wait.” I thanked God for the advancement of science and technology and that I was where I needed to be to “wait”….to wait on Him. There was no rushing through this.

God knows we have busy lives. He’s sees us frantically running from one thing to the next. He’s sees our impatience and how we treat people because of our haste. Maybe I wasn’t meant to pick up my kids that day because He was protecting us from something on the road. (BTW, dear husband immediately apologized and looked for a way to make it up.) Maybe I needed to have this biopsy so that I could stop rushing through my life and taking slow moments with my husband and children and realize that we only have one life regardless of what life throws at us. If we decide to live out our lives in honor and gratitude to God, we need to wait on Him.

The results of the ultrasound were negative. Many of you thanked God with me. I will need to continue monitoring the nodule but I’m on my way to making more permanent decisions with the health of my thyroid. I also need to make more permanent decisions with the health of my mindset, and my heart and how I will continue to live out my life. Regardless of what comes my way, even through the rush, I’m choosing to wait on God. <3


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